You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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