is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
