His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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