I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
