Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
