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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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