I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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