tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize