Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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