you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
