you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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