its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
