If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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