Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
