i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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