your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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