yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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