Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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