The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
