Bisexual people are plain selfish.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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