i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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