WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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