hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
