Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
