: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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