Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am available for nakedness
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
