Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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