is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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