did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
