the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
