my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do vagina's smell?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
