I could have mohawked her pubes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
