We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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