Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
