so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
