she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Mom said you looked used
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
