dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
