We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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