Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it

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(909): View more from California

It's Friday. Sex?

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(646): View more from New York

My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.

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(408): View more from California

She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit

(1-408): View more from California

I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards

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(949): View more from California

Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.

(562): View more from California

The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.

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(760): View more from California

Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?

(951): View more from California

It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.

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