Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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