at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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