I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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