Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
