so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize