they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
