Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
