Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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