last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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