the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
