She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
