I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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