I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
