im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
