I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
