3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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