That's intense
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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