one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
