Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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