when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize