It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
