i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
