She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
